A Big Transition

Today was my first day back to work since February. I have had the luxury of spending nearly 5 months with my son, Dylan. He was born in the beginning of March and my maternity led right into summer break (one of the perks of being a teacher). I have been thinking of today for awhile, but it always seemed so far away. It really seemed to sneak up! Over the past few days I had pondered what my reactions would be, and I honestly thought I would fine. But my emotions had another idea.

This morning after I got ready I went in to wake up Dylan so I could nurse him once more before I left. He was sleepy at first and then his cheerful morning side appeared. He was smiling and "talking" to me. I felt a tug on my heartstrings and a wave of guilt washed over me. In that instant I just wanted to stay with him. I forced myself to gather my things and head our the door. The tears started before I even left the driveway and didn't stop until I pulled into school.

I did much better the rest of the day, mostly because I work with such supportive friends (including another new mom who is going through the same thing). My schedule kept me pretty busy with getting things ready for our kids to come on Monday, and I only felt teary a few other times. I took the time to text my husband to say I missed them both. He will be working from home several days each week and gets to stay with our little man. As soon as our afternoon training was over I rushed home and just sat and cuddled with Dylan. It was a great feeling to see his big smile.

I know that Dylan will do fine without me there and I will be fine without him. But this transition will take some time to get used to and I can only hope it will get better each day. Starting Monday I will be counting down the days until our fall break when I can spend 2 weeks straight with him. Until then I can only hope the hundreds of pictures of him on my bulletin board will get me through the day.

Welcome

I always enjoyed writing when I was younger, but for some reason I have strayed from this passion. This year I have really considered taking it up again; especially since I wanted a way to keep track of the life of my son. I started graduate classes this summer with a concentration in technology and I thought using technology to incorporate writing and memories was a great idea. So here’s to trying new things!

My Guys